Syafiqah my roommate dah balik 😥

Syafiqah went back home.

Okay now, hows your feeling? Sad. 😭

Dia tahu tak yang kau sedih?
Uih, haruslah tidak.

Dah bgtahu belum yg kau nak sebilik dengan dia lagi?
Uih,  haruslah belum.

Dia tahu tak yang kau suka kawan dgn dia?
Uih, ape jenis soalan. Mesti lah dia tak tahu. Kau ingat, aku banyak bercakap dengan dia? Mana ade lah. Kitorang sembang sikit2 je. Buat keje masing2 . Tapi kitorang selalu share mcm2 bende. Sikat haha, mangkuk, sabun, ironboard, iron. Macam2 lah 😁. Tapi tak banyak bersembang. Masing2 malu nak cakap banyak , padahal dah setahun duduk sebilik.

Okay, ketawalah 😂😂. Macam orang bercinta sebelah tangan. Lol. Sunyi bilik ni, sunyi.

Syafiqahh, rinduu.

I know that SADNESS 😢

For my dearest brothers and sisters.

I know you are in sadness. Sedih. Sedih bila kawan2 sepupu sepapat semua gembira dengan result UPU masing2. Semua kecoh2 dengan result masing2. Kita?

Mungkin juga ada sebahagian yang merasakan, 

"I feel like I am the dumbest one". 

No, you are not! Trust me. 

Waktu saya dulu, 4 years before i guess.. Kawan2 yg dpt 8 A, 9 A pun tak dapat UPU. It's normal. 

Kalau macam saya pula, entah mcmana boleh overlook masa isi UPU tu, ada part2 yg terlepas pandang then sbnrnya UPU tak dapat nak proses maklumat yg diberikan. Then masa cek result UPU, dapat result yg UPU tak dpt proses maklumat saya.  Abah pun call offive mohe UPU tu, they told abah that I failed to fill all the blanks provided in the UPU website. 

Kay. Fine. Sedih. Haruslah. Nangis. Perkara wajib 😂 dilakukan. Sedih, sebab kita menanti2 result UPU, lastly tak dapat apa, malah boleh pula disebabkan salah sndiri. 

But ada satu perkara yg membuatkan saya bersegera utk positive ialah Abang ketiga saya telefon, tanya tentang result UPU. I told him, I got nothing. He knew I was sad because of the tone of my voice. He listened me first, then he said, 

"Kita kan ada Allah. Allah kan tak pernah menzalimi hamba hambaNya. Allah kan Maha Tahu. Dia kan Maha Melihat. Dia kan Maha Mendengar. Berdoalah. Tiada yang mampu menghalang kita drpd berdoa. Kan masih ada peluang utk second in take. Berdoa. Doa. Kalau Allah nak bagi kita sesuatu, siapa yang boleh halang? Tak ada siapa boleh halang. Yakin, dengan Allah, apa yang DIA tak mampu?". 

I missed that moment. Indeed, banyak jasa dia utk kehidupan seorang adik ini. He taught me about Allah very well. 

Pada waktu tu, saya rasa yang selama ni saya bergantung kepada kemampuan diri. Tidak kepada Allah.

Sepanjang tempoh nak dapat result UPU intake kedua tu, everyday I made Hajat prayer. Berdoa sungguh2. Sebab saya suka belajar. Saya suka baca buku. Saya suka masuk kelas. Kalau tak masuk universiti, terbayang dah alangkah bosannya kehidupan. Jadi everyday meminta kepada Allah petunjuk, solat taubat dan solat hajat agar diberi tempat belajar yg terbaik. Waktu tu lah terus termuhasabah dosa2 yang dilakukan. Terima kasih kepada UPU sbb tak proses maklumat aku molek2, kalau tak mesti tak berapa ada chance utk aku muhasabah. Leuls. 

Result UPU for 2nd intake keluar lambat, then... Abah and Mak decided for me, 

"Masuk Khassah". 

Yes, i went there. But only for a week. 😂😂. I used to live there happily, tapi serius rindu kawan2 sekolah masa tu. Asyik teringat saat2 dengan kawan2 masa form five. Iman Abdus, Umi Salwa and Sarah Fariha are my best friends on that time and i.A till now. Uih, rindu. 

Then a week after, result UPU for 2nd intake was anounced. 

Allah izin dapat UIAM, Asasi Undang-undang.

Tak expect pun dapat UIAM sbb universiti tu tak familiar dgn diri ini. Tapi dah dapat yg tu, I had a short discussion with parents and sisters.

Mak cakap, 

"Masuklah UIAM. Sebab Mak tak rasa kamu boleh patuh dengan peraturan sekolah. I know you will be having a better life there". 

Yes, mom knows her daughter better. Yes I admit. Saya bukan org yang skema, tak suka peraturan, sudah pasti I was not a very good girl. It was the old me. 

Masa on the way Abah hantar ke UIAM, he said, 

"Jom balik semula. Patah balik jom. Abah tak sedia untuk jauh2 dgn anak". 

Sedih nyaa lahaii. Padahal time tu kat Rawang dah pun. I just remain quiet. Sebab masa tu berfikir2, kenapa UIAM? 😂😂. 

Abah continued, 

"You know what, Allah will never leave you behind. Whenever you pray, He listens. Whenever you cry, He sees. Whenever you are in pain, He always can cure. Just remember, tak sama doa orang yang yakin dgn Allah dgn doa orang yang ragu2. Jadi kita kene setiasa yakin yang Allah akan terima doa kita, itu hak Allah. Allah berhak ke atas kepercayaan drpd kita". 

I do really appreciate that words. Abah, kau pikir senang abah nak bawa keluar ayat ayat gitu😂 . 

Ya, Allah tak pernah tak nampak kita. Just believe! Berdoalah dengan penuh keyakinan. 

Dont be sad. Yang penting jangan tinggal kerja2 DnT. Allah is always there for you. Masih ada masa, berdoa lah. Rezeki pasti ada utk kita semua. Terutama utk para du'at 😘

Tingkatkan TAQWA. inshaAllah rezeki akan datang drpd sumber yang tak disangka sangka.

I want to be your room mate again!

I want to be your room mate until the end of the fourth year degree.

May I? Sudi tak? (blink2 eyes)

One of the best bounties when becoming a university student is having a nice room mate. Alhamdulillah, I am given a very nice room mate from kulliyah Economics, an accounting student. I have been given a twinning room, so I have she only unlike others who have 3 room mates in one room.

Happiness is mine when Allah grants me with this kind of room mate! I never heard she said any bad word, very polite, does respect my privacy, caring, a magnificient smile I ever seen is hers, and many more. One thing yang mmg buat saya teruja is, she will go out at 6.45 AM on every Thursday to attend usrah. Baguskan?!

But the problem is, I don't know how to tell her my wish to be her room mate again for next semester. Malu haha.

Last 2 weeks, I told Mak,
"Mak, I have a nice roommate. And I want to be with her again for next semester. But, malu to tell her".

Mak gave me a glance of smile and said,
"Just speak it out. Sometimes people lagi suka kita bgtahu yg kita nak dgm dia lagi, sbb dia akan rasa dihargai".

I am thinking of it till today.

Last Friday, I told Tisya who is one of my closest friends,

'Aku nak room mate dengan syafiqah lagi'.

'Then, bagitahulah dia. Apa masalah kau?'.

'Entah. Aku malu. Malu nak minta jadi room mate dengan dia. Sebab aku tak sebaik dia, takut dia lah taknak jadi room mate aku dah'.

'Kau nih. Macam2 benda kau malu. Speak out of your thoughts tak malu pulak'.

'Speak out of my thoughts is something else laa. I have that confidence because those are derived from books I have read. Ni nak propose room mate jadi room mate sem depan ni bende rumit bg aku. Aku takut dia tak nak.'

'Alahai. Sini aku ajar. Aku bagi skrip ni kat kau, then balik bilik japgi kau apply. Bla bla'.

Sampai diberi skrip. But still I haven't try reading the script yet haha. Still waiting for some strength come into my heart to speak it out.

Syafiqah, please accept me to be your room mate Hahaha. Agar kita bisa sujud bersama di atas sejadah yang sama setiap hari.

Difficult

How difficult the difficult is?

When your lecturer does not have expertise on that area, but she is the one who designing questions on that particular matter,

Only then you will know what the real 'difficult' is.  How we were screwed up!

Be patient, because after every hardship comes ease.